Motherhood can be so rewarding yet so, so hard at the same time. You give all to your kids and in the process you give up so much of yourself that you don't realize. I used to be the kind of person who was the first one to go to bed and the last one to get up. Now it's the opposite, I am the last one to got to bed (sometimes I don't even get to my bed) and the first one to wake up. I used to hate having conversations with people after waking up, until I had had my breakfast. Now my day starts with "Hi, Good Morning! Did you have a goodnight's sleep? Do you want your bottle? come let's cuddle. You are my sweet, cute baby" and so on and so forth. And the weird part is I don't mind it a single bit. It the best start to my day that I could ever wish for. To see my babies waking up happy and being so happy to see me. The little one has started responding too. She lights up the moment she hears my voice and the noises she makes when she wakes up, just so, so cute Masha'Allah!!



Ibbi has been a bit cranky and whiny the past couple of weeks. Poor guy has so much energy and not the level of activity to match it. So this frustration comes out in the form of whining. I am literally brain dead by the time he goes to bed. Somedays I feel like covering my ears, and running around in circles because this consistent whining can take a toll on the strongest of men. But I do feel a bit sorry and helpless because it has been too cold to take the kids out and there is not enough space here to have some indoor activity. So, when the weather took a turn for the better this week I promised him that i'll take him out this week.



Finally, yesterday I got the chance to take the kids out. I did all my chores early in the day and cooked dinner before I left so I won't have to rush back and cut Ibbi's fun time short. First I thought I'll take him out during the day then the thought of him falling asleep in the afternoon, and then waking up a few hours before bedtime was too much to bear. So I delayed it till 5 in the evening. With careful planning I mapped out our excursion so that by the time we get back he'll be so tired that he'll fall right into bed after we had our dinner and a quick bath. And I am happy to report that it is excatly what happened. He is still out cold after 11 hours of sleep *evil laughter in my mind*



I took him to an indoor play area yesterday. He looked so happy running around that it made me a bit sad. I know, moms have this really weird emotional spectrum. I just wish I can see that happy face everyday. I know it is so hard to control so much energy and being cooped inside had been affecting him in so many ways. So yesterday I let him go bonkers. He was running and jumping on the trampoline, throwing himself into the ball pit and laughing because he thought it was so funny. He took the slide a thousand times and in between each turn he would run over to me to give me a "high 5". Everytime he came to sit with me I would ask if he wanted to go. That question would inject another dose of energy and off he would go with his head shaking. I had to intice him with the idea of Baba waiting at home to finally get him to leave. Also the place was about to close and the employees were starting to clean up.




On the bus ride home he fell asleep, so baba had to come down and carry him upstairs. The little one slept the entire time in her baby carrier thankfully! All in all a day well spent. Which brings me to the interesting fact that in all this I forgot to have dinner. Woke up at 3 in the night with my stomach growling. And since everyone was asleep and you never, NEVER wake up a sleeping baby, even if you made it, I just had a glass of milk before going to bed again. And now it's time for my breakfast which I'll hopefully have in peace because the kids are still asleep.

Happy Friday to all of you and have a great weekend!

Wow! This non/un/dis/ whatever is the opposite of procrastination is really working for me. I had a super productive day today, Alhamdulillah. Went through all the tasks that I had set aside for mself plus a few more. I thought I'd write those down so I can feel a sense of accomplishment and you guys can know what a  day in the life of a stay-at-home mom looks like.

So basically there is no fixed time when I decide to call it morning. It is whenever the kids decide to wake up. I just take it on from there. Also, I figured that setting a routine does not work for me, if something doesn't go according to plan it leaves me extremely annoyed and the day just goes down the hill from there. I just go with the flow of things and try to get as much work done as I can in what little time I have.

Woke up at 7 today to feed the baby, then had to make some calls but 7 was too early so decided to wait till 08:30. Overslept and woke around 10, made 3 calls which all went to voicemail because apparently it was lunch hour. So, I ended up leaving one voicemail (which I hate doing because I don't know what to say and it is just so weird), sent one message and forgot about setting up a time with my doctor because who remembers themselves once they have kids. Don't do that, though. Our health is important too. Insha'Allah will get my appointment tomorrow. It is actually my 6 week checkup after the baby, but the baby is nearly 3 months old now. Wow, that looks even bad in writing!

Where was I? Yes, so I got up at 10, made the calls, Ibbi woke up because he heard me talking on the phone and it is so important to know who mama is talking to. Gave him his bottle, fed the baby again. Then there was a round of diaper changes after which it was my turn to use the bathroom, but ibbi wanted to come along so postponed it till he was occupied elsewhere. I was thinking about my breakfast and my cup of magic potion aka coffee when the baby threw up. Another trip to the bathroom to give her a bath and change all her clothes from top to bottom.

Eventually, after an hour of diaper changes and bottles I finally got to have my breakfast. Then ran around after Ibbi so he could have breakfast too. Much running and coaxing later he finally managed to finish his breakfast. This is not a one time occurance. This happens every single day! Then it is TV time for me because both kids nap around noon and I get to watch my mystery shows. New obsession these days is Medium and Midsomer Murders. About Midsomer Murders, I find it really disturbing that for a town so small as Midsomers there sure are a lot of murderers there! But that's just England for you guys ! Only today my daily dose of mystery and catching killers was cut short when my sister called. Had a very long chat with her after a very long time. After some initial whining from Ibbi, I managed to put him to sleep and the sis and I had very meaningful and deep conversations about new lipcolours and tv shows, some gossip was shared and a bit of "sannu ki" (that's punjabi for, umm that's a bit hard to translate, "Who Cares")

Around after Magrib (that's 16:00 here) both kids woke up. Alhamdulillah Ibbi was in a good mood. Played a little hide and seek with him and then he ate his supper like a good boy. We watched some tv together. I then did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, while my Bff (the washing machine) did the laundry. Then cleaned the house, mopping and all. Scrubbed the bathroom clean and then looked at it appreciatively as it sparkled. Now as I was taking the clothes out of the dryer, Ibbi managed to sneak past me and into the bathroom. I swear I had turned around for a few seconds and when I turned back he was pretend washing his hair with some water on the bathroom floor that I had forgotten to wipe. I seriously considered letting it slide but then the nagging mom in me couldn't bear knowing his hair was dirty so he got a bath and the machine got a new dose of dirty clothes. Alhamdulillah for automatic machines, I seriously feel for our mothers who had to do it all by hand and then wait for days for the laundry to dry!

Then mommy and son had dinner and watched some more Tv. The day does not end here but I am going to stop now. You'll get exhausted just by reading this. Me, I am just so tired that I don't even feel tired anymore. I'll just stop you here and let you think about how much work I did today. Now imagine yourself doing it and also imagine yourself having to stop every hour or 30 minutes to either feed the baby, or change a diaper or calm down 2 year old who is whining for no reason at all. When you have imagined all this in your head, you will then know what it's like in the life of a mom with 2 kids. It's a walk in the park. NOT!

Pregnancy and childbirth does strange things to you. You have no control over your emotions, feelings, cravings. Your body and your brain has a mind of their own. I wasn't too hormonal during my two pregnancies, alhamdulillah, but this time, after the baby, I have been quite blue. It is not really obvious but at the back of my mind something is disturbing me. Maybe it's the lack of sleep, or I am really, really tired or just being away from the family is weighing hard now. Like right now, I just want to cry. No reason at all, just want to cry :(  Chocolate is not helping and I don't want to eat it which is really strange because I love chocolate. Maybe this is what post-partum blues feel like. Not liking it at all. It's just that motherhood isolates you so much, especially if you are a stay at home mom. Your entire world revolves around your kids, day and night. I know I am very blessed that I don't have to step out and leave my kids to earn a living, Alhamdulillah, but sometimes I just wish I had something that I could call my own. Something other than the endless cycle of feeding, cleaning up, diaper changes and now continuous tantrums of a 2 year old.

 I just want to curl up into a ball and hide under my blanket. Not to be disturbed and to let out all that is bothering me. But Ibbi is very sensitive, he can sense if I am feeling down and then he just wants to lie with me and cuddle which makes me even sadder for some strange reason. Husbands are not really helpful during these times, they do not understand why we feel so down, don't want to use the word depressed because that is a really serious thing. I think the word "Depression" is thrown around too casually. Feeling sad or down or blue is not depression. Depression is something really serious and shouldn't be taken lightly. And it is a real thing, just like post partum depression or blues as I am choosing to call it.

Most things don't bother me and I don't think of myself as an EMO. But this expat life is really not my cup of tea. Husband is not really social and he sees nothing wrong in the fact that we have just 1 family that we are friends with in the 5 years I have been here. Yes, you read it right. 1 family in 5 years. I think when you go out everyday and meet people you dont really get why your wife insists on having a social life. I had a pretty eventful life in Pakistan with family gatherings and get togethers with friends. I don't remember having a weekend when we weren't out having fun, especially since we got jobs and one of us learnt how to drive. Even now, when I go to Pakistan I am out all day, meeting up with friends and family. Going out to eat and shopping or just going on long drives on the beautiful roads of my beautiful city.

*Sigh* life changes and no matter how hard you try to convince your other half, your social life remains dead because you don't want to do anything alone. Don't take from this that my husband is some weird being who doesn't want me to step out of the house or do anything. He is very chilled out and I am free to go wherever I want and do whatever I want. He just doesn't want to come with me. that's all. I hope I can make it a little bit better for my kids, especially on occasions like Eid and stuff.

You know what, I feel a bit better getting all this out here. I hope this doesn't become a regular thing. I am sure no one wants to read about my troubles. So, if you read this, I thank you and request you to say a prayer for me and for every other mother who is feeling this way. Maybe it is the weather these days, I haven't seen the sun in months. A little sunshine would be nice, dear Allah!

I think all of us have come across those Theta type people in school. You know, the ones who never share their notes. Always say that they are not prepared for an exam. Always say their paper was just Ok. And then end up having the highest grade in the class. Yes, those type of people. I always thought this behaviour would end once we got out of school. But, noooo, I couldn't have been more wrong.

I suck at DIY projects. I can mess up even the easiest of things no matter how carefully I follow the instructions. That's why I gave up on them years ago. But last week I came across these beautiful ice lanterns and I thought to myself that there is no harm in trying these. I mean it's just freezing water and then putting a candle inside it. Boy, was I wrong. Patience is not my strongest suit so I took one of the lanterns out before it was ready and it broke (ofcourse). So I decided to sleep on it and it was not the best night's sleep I have had. But I managed to keep my hands off them till they were ready to be taken out. So, I took two days to make four of these and I am sort of proud of myself. Yes. I am that easy to please. Don't judge me, OK?

Before I begin I must warn you that I take really bad photos.These do not, I repeat, DO NOT, look like these in reality. Just a 1000 times better and so cute. But I froze my butt off in -18 so you please be kind to me! So, now you have been warned so proceed with caution.



First decide what size of lantern you want. I would suggest not to go too big or too small. Just choose a medium size container as it will be easier to handle. Oh before you choose a container make sure you live in a country that is experiencing freezing temperatures. By freezing I mean below 15°C.
So now I have really narrowed down my audience (if I had any before) but let's move past this ok?





So fill the containers with cold water and place them outside, and wait patiently. 12-18 hours depending on the weather.










Once these are frozen pour some warm water on the moulds to release the ice. Break the ice on one end and make a cavity. you can pour some warm water inside too if you want it deeper.





Once you have it like you want, just put a tealight or any kind of candle inside it and put it ouside in the snow. And then you can enjoy the light show outside.












Have a cup of coffee and enjoy your lights.

I found this recipe a few years ago on youtube and it fast became our favourite go-to dish. It is super easy, super simple and super quick. Not to mention super tasty. (a lot of super there but you get the basic idea, don't you?) You don't have to be an expert to get good results, just a little attention to details and voila you can put up a dish in front of your family that they will love.

 Chicken 500 Grams

Monday is sort of a Sunday for me. That got you confused, didn't it? Well, because the Mr. goes back to his job and I get to enjoy the day (whatever that is with 2 kids). It's sort of my free day (most wives would agree with me here). I catch up on all my T.V shows, grab some junk food and Ibbi and I cuddle on the couch while watching TV. It's quite relaxing and gets me ready for the week ahead.






Anyways it was pretty cold today (-8 but feels like -18) and it is a true hassle to dress up the kids in two hundred and fifty pieces of clothing, a bit of an exaggeration but you know what I mean. Went out and was met with such a huge pile of snow, got an early morning workout by pushing the pushchair through the snow. It's not easy pushing a 8 kg pushchair (that's the lightest one I could find here in Norway, the heaviest one is a whopping 18 kgs) with an 11 kg toddler sitting in it, while I am carrying the baby in the baby carrier and wearing a big, heavy winter jacket. People are looking at me struggling to get through the snow, but not a single one came to help. Put me in a right mood so early in the morning.

On the way back, I didn't have the will to take the pushchair through the snow again because I was hungry and also did not want to make a spectacle of myself again because no one was going to come help me anyways. So, took the hard decision of carrying it up 3 flights of stairs to our apartment. (planning ahead, I won't have to go through the snow next time I go out). Ok, got this off my chest now.


Now for the good stuff. Ibbi was a really nice boy today, went straight for the toys at the doctor's office, didn't hear a single sound from that corner. He also cleaned up and pushed the chairs back when we were leaving and said Ado-wee (Ibbi language for Thank you :) ) Good boy masha'Allah!

Day got better once we got home, We had breakfast and by 11 both kids were down for their nap so I got to nap too today!


Tried a new recipe for dinner today. Will do a post on it tomorrow insha'Allah. In the meanwhile you can look at my secret sweet stash that I keep hidden from Ibbi because he loves coocli (chocolate) .

 I stumbled upon Asma Hussein's facebook profile about 2 years ago. One of my friends was following her and I got curious about who she was. So I clicked on her name and what I read there made my heart cry. Let me start by telling you who she is and how she has become a source of inspiration for men and women around the world.

Asma met her husband, Amr in 2010, and in true fairytale fashion she knew instantly that he was "the one". Soon she found out that he was the ideal husband too, the one who would do anything to bring a smile on her face. But as it is in the real world, fairytales seldom have happily ever afters. On August 16th, 2013, he was shot by a sniper during a protest in Alexandria. Asmaa was left a widow at 27 and her 9-month old daughter lost her father.

I am going to stop here and ask you all a question. How would you deal with such a loss? The loss of your soulmate, the love of your life, the best husband a woman could ask for and the finest dad to your kids? Most of us, including me, would have fallen apart, lost the will to live. Maybe we would have questioned Allah. But maybe we don't know our strengths before we get a chance to test them.
As Allah SWT states in the Qura'an :

        “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur'an, 2:286).

Asmaa cried, that is a natural human reflex, but amongst all the horror and heartbreak, she never questioned the will of Allah. She never asked "WHY". She turned to writing as an outlet for her grief, not knowing that it would become a balm, not knowing that she would become an inspiration for thousands of people around her. Today,more than 23,000 people follow her on Facebook, gaining courage and peace from her life experiences. She recently released her first book " A Temporary Gift:Reflections on Love, Loss and Healing" in which she writes about the days after her husdnad's death and how she found the strength to bear this great loss. These reflections have taught her the importance of faith in times of difficulty. Her story gives great hope and courage to others who have lost their loved ones. 

You can follow her here :
https://www.facebook.com/asmhuss

Ever since I got married my husband has been after me to include more fish in my diet. He loves fish and has it twice a week, while I used to have it twice a year, until I found this recipe. It is not super healthy but it tastes sooo good. A hit with adults and kids alike!

Last night I felt kind of lucky. Both kids were in bed fast asleep. The little one had her vaccination yesterday and I was worried that she might get fussy or get a fever or something but Alhamdulillah all was well. So, as I was saying that both kids were fast asleep, I had managed to do the dishes and clean the kitchen, taken a shower and had my dinner. I think that should have been my cue that things were going to blow up in a matter of time. (should have gotten into bed with those two, always make that silly mistake). So, anyways it was around midnight when the little one woke up. I just thought "I'll just put her in the bouncer and she'll be asleep in a few minutes" . But she had other plans and she knows how to look cute, so I decided to enjoy this mommy daughter time. Little did I know that it will go on till 3 o'clock in the morning! Just as she was about to snooze off the little man decides it's time to wake up because he is thirsty/hungry/bored/wants mommy or all of these.

So, now 3 out of my 4 limbs are in motion. Let me tell you that you can make your limbs do different things at the same time. I know, I do it all the time. I think it's kind of a mommy super power and you aquire it by going through a tough regime of sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, constant psychological warfare, doing household chores at lightning fast speed and tiptoeing around the house while the kids sleep (does wonders for your legs though). OK, I wandered off a bit here. Happens when your brain is in a haze because you haven't slept in 3 days.

So, where was I? Ummm...oh yes. I was talking about my limbs. So I was rocking the bouncer with one foot, while trying to pat the elder one with one hand and trying to hold him down with the other because he wanted to go to Baba. I gave up, couldn't fight two of these at the same time. So, I gather up my survival kit : junk food and laptop. At 3 at night, I set up the laptop and I am here thinking  "ok so maybe we can watch something and he'll fall asleep in a little while" Boy, was I wrong. Again!

Long story short, we went to sleep at 7. In the morning. Yes, we had our good night kisses at 7 in the morning! But I have two kids and they have decided that while one sleeps the other will stay awake and keep an eye on Mommy. Because it's mommy who needs constant supervision (dont't know if I spelled this right, I can't even spell right now...so tired). Thank God for coffee but I think it's losing it's magical powers too.

Need to find another magic potion and while I search for it let me console my self by repeating this over and over in my mind that this part will soon be over. Soon, they'll be sleeping through the night and getting more independent. While this thought makes me happy it makes me a little sad too. These cuddling session will also get fewer with time, this sweet baby smell will be gone. Bittersweet moment for all  mothers.

Mr. please come home already, I want to sleeeeep!

I just realized today that in my previous post I had forgotten, totally forgotten, to mention my other half.  Sorry big guy *sad face* That is what happens after you have kids! (don't want to scare any prospective parents thought) Kids are great! Kids are nice! Kids are all things sugar, spice and everything nice. No kidding! (see what I did there? No? I said No "kid"ding... haha! Ok, bad joke!)

So today this post is entirely dedicated to him. I am not going to bore you with our wedding story because there is nothing to write home about. We got married the pure desi way, for those of you who don't know what that means, our parents decided for us. No love story here, sorry guys. No late night calls, no lovey dovey messages, no dates , nothing!

So I am going to jump right in from when we got married. Let me tell you that before I got married my view of married life was very different than what it is now. I feel so silly when I think back to when i got married. Grand gestures, although very nice and heartwarming, seldom mean so much during the long run. It is the little things that matter and that is what we should think of when we get mad at our spouses or when we start comparing ourselves to other couples. I wish I had known this sooner.

 I spent the first year of our marriage feeling sorry for myself. Not taking note of all the little wonderful things the Mr. did for me. He knows I love sweets, so everytime he had a cake or chocolate at work he would always bring back some for me. Or when I was pregnant I used to get very congested, so he bought these special Kleenex for me so my nose won't hurt. Or when I used to wake him up at night because I was thirsty. Never once in these 5 years that I have known him has he treated me badly. Always with the utmost respect, love and kindness. And he is so gentle with the kids Masha'Allah! Sometimes too gentle, in my opinion but it just melts my heart to see the little ones wrapping him around their little fingers *wicked grin* But then on the other hand he is rewarded with these giant smiles and special little kisses that I can never get. So jealous So, so jealous. Even the little one who is just 2 months old lights up when she looks at him. I just get angry stares. Ok that was a lie...a semi lie. She smiles at me too but not like that.

Ok I wandered off here a bit. This was supposed to be about the Mr. Kids! Always taking the limelight *huh*

The day I stopped feeling sorry for myself was the day I realized he is the nicest guy. Ok not that nice (don't want to give him ideas in case he is reading this) You are just fine!

Well he does annoy the crap out of me though! and at moments like these I think of all the good things he does. It is quite therapeutic, I tell you. Try it sometime and see for yourself. So, where was I? Yes, about that guy in my life. It's good, great in it's own special way. This is what marriage is really about, compromising and also appreciating. Nobody is all bad, everyone has some good qualities. Let's focus on those and let's stop going through people's photographs on facebook and feeling sorry for ourselves!

So Mr. even if I don't show it often (I don't really have time with these kids of yours) know that you are appreciated. Ok, He is never going to get the address of this blog. Ever!

Finally after hours of juggling two kids and setting up a blog I can sit down to write my very first blog post. A bit nervous, a bit excited and sooo tired but I'm gonna power through. YESSS!!!

Let me begin by introducing myself. I am a 28 year old, mother of 2, currently residing in Norway. Used to be really awkward as a child and still carry a part of that awkwardness inside. Sometimes it manages to escape but most of the time, it is well under control and cleverly concealed behind bad jokes. Didn'tt have many friends till high school. Met the best and coolest girls there, still am friends with them and super grateful for their friendship through all these years.

Anyways, first thing most people don't know about me is that I loooove to eat, like really really love! Hate being disturbed while eating and literally the first thought I have when I wake up is what I'll have for breakfast. Well, for someone so obsessed with food you'll think I love to cook too. But NOOOO! I hate, well hate is a strong word, let's just say I dislike it, especially cooking for my self. It's a love/hate relationship.

I used to love reading books before the kids arrived. One of my all time favourite book is Pride and Prejudice. Oh! That charming, handsome yet so annoyingly proud man we know as Mr. Darcy. My friend and I were quite borderline obsessed with him, but let's be honest, who isn't?

Everyone who knows me well knows that I love kids. I am the kind of person with whom all the kids wanted to hang out. So, having my own kids was like winning the Golden Ticket to the Willy Wonka Factory(see...obsessed with food). So, the eldest will turn 2 in February. He is the sweetest boy you'll ever meet, melts my heart with his sweet smile. Loves to cuddle with Mama and baby sister morning, noon and night. He has started showing some signs of the terrible two's but he has always been a  good boy *fingers crossed* and will continue to be so. The most recent additon to our family is our little baby girl, born Nov 2015. Loves to eat and sleepso all is well on that front too. Already becoming daddy's girl. I feel a little jealous when she flashes that special toothless grin, reserved only for Dad.

So, guys, that's all for now. Duty calls or rather doody calls (bad joke, sorry). Catch you later, peeps! Hope you'll swing by again soon.